I have always had struggles in my life and I almost accepted that I was meant to struggle. I did not know that the struggles in my past were linked to me doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results (insanity). I would get into relationships hoping to find a piece of me that was missing only to end up heartbroken, and blame the other person for the demise of the relationship. You cannot expect someone to complete you if you are not in yourself. You cannot expect to find your true self in a relationship. You have to be willing to do the work on your own before you get into a relationship. One of the reasons many relationships fail is because we expect the other person to pick up the slack of us being mediocre. We bring our insecurities into the relationship. Relationships are full of baggages from our past, patterns that we inherited from our parents. We expect our partners to fill the void left by an absentee parent or the love we lacked has children. Some of us were abuse and or neglected. Our parents or caretaker did not create an environment where we felt protected or celebrated. Instead what we got were constant put downs, telling us what they wanted us to be, what we were not, constant comparisons to our peers, how much better our peers are doing, lack of encouragement, negative motivations. Some of us were not even wanted or cared for my one or both of our parents. So as adults we look for what we did not get in others, some of us vow to never treat others the way we were treated yet we end up behaving exactly like our parents. We either build fences to keep people out or we let all kinds of people in who will hurt or damage us even more, so you see the cycle continues! Then we procreate and the patterns continue from generation to generation. To bring this home I am going to refer to a bible story to illustrate generational patterns. This is the pattern of rejection (Learned from the book “you are what you think”)
I am reminded of a story I read recently about how patterns take shape in the family. This story is about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and their respective sons.
When Sarah was unable to bear a son for Abraham he was given Hagar the maid who bore him a son named Ishmael. Later on Sarah bore a son named Isaac. Because Sarah felt threaten by fact that Ishmael was born to Abraham. She forced Abraham to send Ishmael and his mother away. Ishmael was therefore rejected and sent way by this father. Isaac had Esau and Jacob, Isaac, favored Esau over Jacob while Rebecca favored Jacob. Esau sold his birth right and also lost his blessing from his father. After all was said and done Jacob was sent away for his protection from Esau. So rejection comes into play again. Jacob decided to get married he asked Laban for Rachel but he was given Leah. Jacob rejected Leah in favor of Rachel. He was willing to work several more years for Rachel. Even though Leah had many sons for Jacob he was not moved instead when Rachel finally bore him a son named Joseph, Jacob favored Joseph over all is other sons and showed him favoritism. Jacobs’s treatment of Joseph did not seat well with his brothers so his brothers rejected him Joseph was later rejected by his brothers and sold into slavery.
So you see the patterns of rejection in the three generation of Abraham’s family.
What patterns exist in your family? Look back at your parents and their parents you might be surprise to see what patterns were form and how those patterns are affecting your life today?
Until next time….
Love peace and hair grease. #ROCKSTEADY!!!
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