I can't give up now! 03/29 by Nubian50 | Blog Talk Radio

I can't give up now! 03/29 by Nubian50 | Blog Talk Radio

Surviving!

Sexual abuse is very sensitive subject and must people do not like to talk about it. I was born and raised in Nigeria where my abuse took place. As a child, I never told anyone about my abuse and I lived with it for many years. Coming to America like I have said many times was an eye opener for me this is where I realized that abuse was wrong though I never sought help for it.

 I see myself as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I have written most of my story on my blog already but lately, I have been thinking about what it takes to actually become a survivor! What does that word mean? According to the dictionary, the word survive has several definitions. ‘To survive’ means: To carry on despite hardships or trauma; to persevere; to cope with (a trauma or setback); to persevere after a tough incident. One source defines a survivor as ‘One who lives through affliction’! I like that last one the most.

Yes! I have been carrying on despite trauma but I realize I am I just floating through life and letting life dictate for me what and how I should feel. What is controlling my happiness and my success? Sure! I survived childhood abuse but what psychological effect has it had on my life thus far?

How do I see myself as survivor and what actions do I have to take in my daily life to overcome my demons? Can you really be free from the demons of the past or do you just learn to live with them? And not let the demons dictate for you how you are going to live your life? I spent time looking back at the decisions I had made so far in my life and I realize that I am still tied to my past. My self esteem was not what I thought it was. I was still doing things and involving myself with things and people that indicated to me that I have no self love.

So the battle continues between good and evil. Do I rise up to the occasion or do I continue to be a product of my environment? I am mainly asking myself questions right now so my writing will reflect what is going on in my head at the moment. All questions will be answered step by step. One thing I am learning to do is be present in my life, moment by moment.

Violence Wheel

Violence Wheel

The chart below is a way of looking at the behaviors abusers use to get and keep control in their relationships. Battering is a choice. It is used to gain power and control over another person. Physical abuse is only one part of a system of abusive behaviors.

Abuse is never a one time event.
This chart uses the wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse. Each part shows a way to control or gain power.

Domestic Violence!

Recently I have been meeting women who are struggling with this issue! I know domestic violence is very real but I did not know the extend as to how many women suffer from this every day.

I am going to post some fact about this issue!

Definition

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

■name-calling or put downs

■keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends

■withholding money

■stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job

■actual or threatened physical harm

■sexual assault

■stalking

■intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. An important step to help yourself or someone you know in preventing or stopping violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the "Violence Wheel."

ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

If you are being abused, REMEMBER

1.You are not alone

2.It is not your fault

3.Help is available

I am back!!

Even though I have not blogged in awhile, I am constantly writing. I will be posting soon!!
xox!