Ten Ways to Help Prevent Child Abuse

Be a nurturing parent.
Children need to know that they are special, loved and capable of following their dreams.

Help a friend, neighbor or relative.
Being a parent isn’t easy. Offer a helping hand take care of the children, so the
parent(s) can rest or spend time together.

Help yourself.
When the big and little problems of your everyday life pile up to the point you feel
overwhelmed and out of control – take time out. Don’t take it out on your kid.

If your baby cries…
It can be frustrating to hear your baby cry. Learn what to do if your baby won’t stop
crying. Never shake a baby – shaking a child may result in severe injury or death.

Get involved.
Ask your community leaders, clergy, library and schools to develop services to meet the
needs of healthy children and families.

Help to develop parenting resources at your local library.
Promote programs in school.
Teaching children, parents and teachers prevention strategies can help to keep children
safe.

Monitor your child’s television and video viewing.
Watching violent films and TV programs can harm young children.

Volunteer at a local child abuse prevention program.
Report suspected abuse or neglect.
If you have reason to believe a child has been or may be harmed, call your local
department of children and family services or you local police department

What are the effects of child sexual abuse?

NOTE: I had many of these effects of child sexual abuse some I still struggle with, but with help and understanding I am learning to overcome. For me the first steps towards my recovery was to recognize how being sexually abuse affected my life.

What are the consequences of sexual abuse? What are the effects of child abuse? What are the symptoms of child molestation?

Note that other traumatic events can cause the same symptoms as sexual molestation. Thus, occurrence of the symptoms listed below is not proof of sexual molestation.
Depending on the seriousness, the duration and the sort of abuse, some of those who were abused in their childhood, or recently retain certain problems due to this trauma. These can be divided into psychological, social, sexual and physical problems.
Psychological problems:
Fears, panic attacks, sleeping problems, nightmares, irritability, outbursts of anger and sudden shock reactions when being touched.
Little confidence, and self-respect and respect for one's own body may change.
Behavior that harms the body: addiction to alcohol and other substances, excessive work or sports, depression, self-destruction and prostitution.

Social problems:
Have little confidence in other people.
Fear of loss of control in relationships.

Sexual problem:
While making love problems often occur. The partner may be confused by a certain remark, touch or behavior that brings back memories of the abuse.
Patients sometimes don't want to make love at all anymore or make love less.
Sexual relation problems may occur, together whit pain while making love, not wanting to make love and problems in getting aroused. Problems with the orgasm and coming also occur.

Physical complaints:
Abdominal pain, pain while making love, menstrual pain, intestinal complaints, stomach ache, nausea, headache, back pain, painful shoulders, in short all kinds of chronic pain may occur. The pain is often inexplicable.

Eating disorders often occur in sexually abused people.
When the patients, in reaction to a harmful event, disordered for more than a month in such a way that they can't go to school, can't work, isolate themselves or experience other negative consequences, one can talk about a post-traumatic stress syndrome. This disorder originates in reaction to a very harmful event and has three characteristic symptoms:
1.Denial and repression
2.alternating with re-experiencing,
3.and they are always over irritated.
Denial and repression; they deny or repress the harmful event(s): they don't want to talk about or avoid certain situations. At an older age, memory of sexual abuse is often completely suppressed, but can sometimes be recovered in psychotherapy.

It is, however, difficult to determine if such recovered memories are memories of real experiences of memories of dreams or imagined events. This difficulty can be a problem if you want to prosecute the abuser, but it is not a problem for treatment using modern psycho-therapeutic methods.

Re-experiencing; they experience the event(s) again; unintentionally they are confronted with memories of the abuse, for example through nightmares, sudden memories or unexplainable physical problems.
Over irritation; they are easily affected, hot-tempered, jumpy, excessively alert and don't fall asleep easily.



Peace world and more grease to your elbows!!
Live, Learn ,Love!!!

What is "Child Sexual Abuse"

Child Sexual Abuse includes any sexual behavior or activity that is abusive toward another, a minor, and/or prohibited by state or federal law. Fondling, oral sex, simulated or actual intercourse, exhibitionism, taking sexually explicit pictures of children, showing sexually explicit material to children or having sex in front of a child are all considered child sexual abuse.

Most child molesters are able to molest dozens of children before they are caught. Boys and girls are at nearly equal risk to be abused and almost a quarter will be molested sometime before their 18th birthday. Most children do not tell anyone, and those who do often have to tell multiple people before someone calls the police or child welfare services. The overwhelming majority of child sexual abuse victims are abused by someone they know and trust, someone most parents would never suspect. Females are estimated to account for less than 20% of child molesters.

1.There are different several types or names for sex offenders.
Intra-family or incest offenders - These offenders sexually abuse their own children but can also abuse other relatives and neighbors and most have multiple victims. Most incest offenders appear normal and lead average lives. They may continue intimate relationships with wives and girlfriends while molesting children. If discovered or accused by their victims they are often able to talk family and friends out of reporting them. In some cases treatment may be effective.

2.Pedophiles - Are adults who are sexually attracted to and desire children. Often they may work or volunteer with children in positions such as coaches, teachers, Boy Scout leaders, ministers/priests, school bus drivers, day care providers. Some pedophiles believe they are showing love for the child and do not understand or care that their actions are harmful. They are likely to be single or live with their parents or have a dysfunctional marriage. Most molest many children before they are caught. Treatment is rarely effective.

3.Sexually violent offenders - These offenders kidnap, sometimes physically abuse, rape, and even murder some children. This group is the smallest but most dangerous and publicized group of child molesters. Many engage in other criminal behavior including adult rapes, and are often chronic drug users. Treatment is rarely effective.
Sexual exploiters includes exhibitionists who expose to children, computer surfers who solicit children over the Internet and child pornographers. Men in their 20's and older who form sexual relationships with young teenage girls, sometimes as young as 12 or 13, can be considered sexual exploiters.

Most child molesters are in a position of trust and are often able to undermine the child's ability to accurately perceive the behavior as abusive. Most molesters are also able to convince other adults that it never happened or that the child misunderstood.

Molesters abuse children they are sexually and emotionally attracted to, children they feel are vulnerable and needy, and children they feel that they can control and manipulate into keeping the abuse a secret.

Child molesters may lead up to the abuse by forming a friendship or paying special attention to the child, taking them places, buying them gifts or giving them extra support and encouragement. They may offer to "help out" with babysitting or transportation. They may exploit children who are neglected or verbally abused by their parents by positioning themselves as the one who is "nice" while the parents are "mean". If the child's relationship with the parents is basically sound, the offender may try to start conflicts within the family in order to alienate the child from the family.

Molesters also test and desensitize children by telling dirty jokes, talking about sexual things and engaging in non-sexual physical contact like back-rubs, wrestling, hugging and horseplay. This behavior generally starts long before the sexual touching starts and serves to normalize contact and trust. The increased physical relationship and intimate talk between the child and offender makes it easier for the offender to introduce sexual behavior into the relationship. If the child's parent has been present when some of the close physical contact or joking has occurred, it also makes the child think it must be ok.

Some offenders are so good at developing dependent relationships that their victims feel obligated and may even feel protective of the offender, especially when the offender is a parent, relative, admired family friend, teacher, coach or priest.

Many molesters work just as hard to seduce and manipulate adults as they do children. They may work very hard to present themselves as a moral and upright person. They think about and plan lies and excuses to talk people out of reporting them to law enforcement if caught or suspected.

I decided to wait!

Loneliness and the need for companionship sometimes can lead us to get into and or maintain relationships that are not good for us. The idea of having someone next to us sometimes leads us to compromise and settle for companionship that neither elevate nor strengthen our lives. I found a spoken word piece that sums up everything I have gone through when it comes to companionship and what God wants for me. This poem helps me deal with the fact that I do not have to settle for anything less than what I deserve. This past week was an emotional tough week but through prayers, family and this poem I gained a new insight and focus on what I want in a companion. I gained strength to continue with my purpose while I wait for the right companionship in my life!
So this week I will just let this poem bless you as it has help me. Be Bless and stay strong. Remember that the lord will bless those who diligently seek him!
I hope this poem blesses you has it has blessed me!! pass it on!!

Peace world and more grease to your elbows.

"I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

What I didn’t know?

Abuse in any form is an abomination! The deeper question that I have been asking myself is why do we not speak up? What is created inside us that renders us incapable of speaking up? Why do some people speak up and other suffer in silence?

Let me speak for myself, when I first experienced sexual abuse I did not know what was going on. I was 6 for crying out loud! I felt dirty and ashamed. I was never taught that I should tell someone if my body is touched in any way that makes me feel uncomfortable. In an irony twist as a counselor I educated families the importance of being aware of who is around your kids and taught youth as young as 5 years old what to do if someone tries to touch your body. I wondered what would have happened to me if I was taught this exercise. Honestly, I did not know what happened to me was dead wrong until I came to America. I just lived with it like was just part of my life.

Child abuse here in America was all over the news and teachers and parents alike had a dialogue about abuse. Even though it still happens but the awareness is far greater in the states than in Nigeria.
It is very important to create an open dialogue with the kids around you so that they will know that their body is a temple and should not be violate in any way. These lessons are the beginning of building self worth in our kids. If you are not open to talk to your kids about abuse when will you be open to discuss these things? Let us not wait until it is too late then start playing the blame game.


If you so happen to find yourself in a situation that abuse has occurred take whatever steps are necessary to rebuild your child even though the damage will be done but try and salvage the situation. Never sweep abuse under the rug!! If your child comes to you and says that he or she was touched do whatever you have to help that child work through it!!!
Peace world and more grease to your elbows.