Surviving!

Sexual abuse is very sensitive subject and must people do not like to talk about it. I was born and raised in Nigeria where my abuse took place. As a child, I never told anyone about my abuse and I lived with it for many years. Coming to America like I have said many times was an eye opener for me this is where I realized that abuse was wrong though I never sought help for it.

 I see myself as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I have written most of my story on my blog already but lately, I have been thinking about what it takes to actually become a survivor! What does that word mean? According to the dictionary, the word survive has several definitions. ‘To survive’ means: To carry on despite hardships or trauma; to persevere; to cope with (a trauma or setback); to persevere after a tough incident. One source defines a survivor as ‘One who lives through affliction’! I like that last one the most.

Yes! I have been carrying on despite trauma but I realize I am I just floating through life and letting life dictate for me what and how I should feel. What is controlling my happiness and my success? Sure! I survived childhood abuse but what psychological effect has it had on my life thus far?

How do I see myself as survivor and what actions do I have to take in my daily life to overcome my demons? Can you really be free from the demons of the past or do you just learn to live with them? And not let the demons dictate for you how you are going to live your life? I spent time looking back at the decisions I had made so far in my life and I realize that I am still tied to my past. My self esteem was not what I thought it was. I was still doing things and involving myself with things and people that indicated to me that I have no self love.

So the battle continues between good and evil. Do I rise up to the occasion or do I continue to be a product of my environment? I am mainly asking myself questions right now so my writing will reflect what is going on in my head at the moment. All questions will be answered step by step. One thing I am learning to do is be present in my life, moment by moment.

Domestic Violence!

Recently I have been meeting women who are struggling with this issue! I know domestic violence is very real but I did not know the extend as to how many women suffer from this every day.

I am going to post some fact about this issue!

Definition

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

■name-calling or put downs

■keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends

■withholding money

■stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job

■actual or threatened physical harm

■sexual assault

■stalking

■intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. An important step to help yourself or someone you know in preventing or stopping violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the "Violence Wheel."

ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

If you are being abused, REMEMBER

1.You are not alone

2.It is not your fault

3.Help is available

I am back!!

Even though I have not blogged in awhile, I am constantly writing. I will be posting soon!!
xox!

IN DUE TIME!

I write not only to encourage you but also to encourage myself and remain in my faith and trust in the Lord and in His perfect timing.

It is extremely hard to see God’s hands in the midst of our trials and tribulation but we must stand firm and hold on to His promises that he will never forsake us even though on the surface and around us it may appear everything has gone wrong and we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard we try, nothing seems to be coming together. Your family and friends have all forsaken you and your spirit is in a constant state of brokenness.  You are always on the verge of tears. This is the point where you need to dig deeper and do whatever is necessary for you to maintain your sanity and not lose your faith.

                Remember Job in his many afflictions? How through it all he kept his eyes on God? Like I said earlier, when I write these words I am talking to myself as well as to you. If I could write everything I am going through right now as I write, you would wonder how I am able to maintain my sanity and trust in God.  We have a tendency to look around for help and try to work things out on our own when God just wants us to look to him. Job had every reason to turn his eyes away from God after all he lost everything and was in pain. Yes, he wallowed in self pity but he did not allow it to overcome his entire being. When he realized what he was doing, he got right back to God and he knew that in due time God was going to restore him. Even with the negative motivators in his life, he refused to curse God. Deep inside him he knew where his help was coming from. In God’s time, Job was restored to an even greater state than he was before his troubles.  His affliction became a thing of the past.

A Mother's Love

Mother and son!!

This week I decided to celebrate family.  One thing I do know is the love I have for my family, and that

 love has always been given freely. So today I decided to celebrate the love I see between my mother

and her youngest child. Do not be mistaken; my mother loves all five of her children, but the bond she

has with my little brother is like no other. So here goes!

This love tells a true story of an unconditional love the attachment that a mother has with her last born son that God forbid if anything ever happened to him, the mother would be more than heartbroken. This love tells of a love so great that through it, God healed all of the boy’s so called disabilities. You see this boy was born prematurely, and the doctors said he would have so many problems. Basically, he was written off by the doctors. They said he might not walk, he might not talk, and he would not grow very tall. At best he would be lucky to grow to 5 feet. The boy was always sick, in and out of the hospital he went for doctors’ visits. At one point, he wore leg braces, had chronic asthma attacks, and underwent speech and physical therapy. Of course, I will not fail to mention the late night tarries whenever he was sick. You see, his mother was willing to sacrifice her life to make sure her little boy would grow up to be normal just like the rest of her children. She loved him so much that she named him after her own father. It was almost as if her son was her father reincarnated. It felt like her father’s spirit came back to comfort her through her precious little boy. The little boy equally loved the grandfather he never met but cherished him through stories told to him by his mother and older siblings. It felt like his grandfather’s soul was wrapped around him because sometimes he would cry for him wishing he had known him like his older siblings. Mother and son were so close that the most amazing thing always happened when mother was away. Her son would get a fever and get so sick that the only thing that would make him better was when his mother came back home. Instantly he would be well again appearing as if he had not been sick. The little boy needed his mother so much you would think she was the air he breathed and his was all the love she needed.

Today this not so little boy is 15 years old, stands at 6 feet 7 inches, wears size 16 shoes, and is well read and well spoken. Extremely talented, I call him a genius. He is respectful and is growing up to be a very handsome young man. I am very proud to call him my little big brother. Most of all, he is still very close to his mother and the both of them share a very special bond.
There is nothing like love within a family. Take the time to celebrate your family!!!
Until Next time,
Peace, Love and Hair Grease!
#Rocksteady!!